May 12, 2010 – The things I do for the cause. Today, during a TV interview about the new “Not So Sexy” fragrance report, the reporter asked me to spray some perfume in the air for the cameras. Anything for the b-roll!

Going for maximum visuals, I reached for the super propellant body spray. Old Spice was jammed by a safety lock, so, next thing I know, I’m shaking up the swarthy black-and-blue can of Axe deodorant and blasting a jet stream of chemicals into my living room.

Big mistake! The air was suddenly noxious, my eyes watered. “I can’t even smell it,” the reporter said. “Just wait,” I replied. “The cloud is coming your way.” A moment later she was making an uncomfortable face.

Now, three hours later, the potent scent still lingers on my clothes and skin (and I didn’t even spray the stuff on my body!) — and I’m wondering if there’s any connection to the scratchy throat thing I have going on.

OK, yes, I have a bias: I’m sensitive to fragrances. And I’m not alone: a significant percentage of the population reports adverse reactions to fragrance exposure.  

While it’s nice to have one, I don’t need a peer-reviewed study to tell me that. Most people I’ve talked to about the new fragrance report – from scientists to reporters – have mentioned they get weird reactions to fragrance, too.

If I were a cosmetic industry exec today, I’d be thinking about how to fix that problem. I’d be gathering together my best heads to say, hey, let’s figure out how to make perfumes that don’t contain 10 allergens, a bunch of estrogen mimics, and a whole lot of petrochemicals that haven’t been assessed for safety (these are the average findings for the tested fragrances; Axe actually fared somewhat better – see results).

Yes I’d do that instead of sending out weird press releases with air quotes, or telling reporters that consumers wouldn’t be able to understand labels that included fragrance chemicals.

It’s tempting to air vent some Axe into their next crisis management PR meeting, and see how that goes over. Coughing fit anyone? Or maybe just some hot girls falling at their feet.